relationships are hard.

A we each sipped our drinks and the conversation turned to the heart level. Isn’t that always the way? There must be something about a coffee shop and friends that leads to a more intimate conversation.  

She started talking about relationships and boys and dating and I tried to keep my head from spinning away. But relationships are hard. From the idea of them to the actual down and dirty of boy-girl pairings, relationships are hard. They are messy, confusing and difficult, and I felt the years slipping away from me and suddenly I was in an entirely different place and time.

I remember my first relationship like it was yesterday. I was a freshman in college and he was a friend of a friend.. We dated for two months from Christmas to Valentines Day and I think I am still reeling from when my status was “taken.” 

He never pursued me. I don’t even think he liked me. I think I was just there and he was there and he felt sorry for me. I will be the first one to admit I made a lot of mistakes while I was dating that boy, but I don’t think they should still haunt me to this day.

 My models for relationships haven’t been the best and I am afraid I don’t know what a happy couple is supposed to look like. My own life has been fraught with me making bad choices when the choice involves men and sex. 

I can still remember the moments of each encounter and I can remember everything I have done and I am so filled with shame. 

What would be your advice to a young woman about relationships and guys?

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