return to your first love.

I feel like I have lost my ability to write. To those that know me this is like a deep ache stemming from the depths of my soul. Writing is how I communicate. It is how I inhale and exhale the world.

But perhaps that is the problem.

As the words came to me for this post I was finishing a chapter in Mike Bickle’s book “Passion for Jesus: Cultivating Extravagant Love for God” and the lyrics to Flyleaf’s song “Penholder” flooded every synapse of my mind.

It is I who is writing, but it is the Lord who is giving me the insight and the words. When I am not connected to God, but to the things of the world it makes sense that my well of words will run dry. It only stands to reason that I’ll spend my days lifelessly wandering without hope or inspiration.Without the Holy Spirit flowing through my whole being I am an empty vessel filling back up with crap.

In order to utilise my gifts I need to come back to the heart of the Gift Giver, the God and Person of Jesus Christ.

Instead of relying on my own weak frame I must walk run back to my Abba who comes to me with open arms. He is my reason for living, the one who allows me to love – and write. I have not been spending time with Jesus lately. I have been neglecting the saviour and lover of my soul. And it shows in the fruit (or lack there of) in my life.

It is time to return to my first love.

It is time that I say no to the idols that I have allowed to creep back in and send them packing. It is time to let Abba patch the gaps that I have kept open for the evil spirits to come back through. I must release the idols of television, food, material possession, money, comparisons, and victimisation and let Jesus fill the space that only he was meant to fill.


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